Message Highlights

• Contentment is being at peace on the inside, even when everything on the outside is out of control. Paul wrote about it from house arrest, waiting for a trial that could cost him his life.
• Philippians 4:13 isn’t a promise that we can accomplish anything we set our minds to. In context, it’s about Christ giving us His strength to stay content in any circumstance.
• We can’t handle what has us stuck, not even on our best day. Christ can, and He works through us.

Conversation Starter

• When you were a kid, what was something you were sure would make you happy once you finally got it? Did it?
• Paul’s friends in Philippi sent him a care package that took a long time to reach him. What’s something someone did for you that showed they hadn’t forgotten about you?

Core Discussion Questions

Connection Question: What stood out to you from this week’s message about being content when you’re stuck?

Context Question: Where have you seen or heard Philippians 4:13 used before (a gym wall, a jersey, a graduation card), and what did you think it meant?

Clarity Question: How did this week’s message clarify or change your understanding of what Paul means when he says, “I am able to do all things through him who strengthens me”?

Application Question: Where in your life right now do you need to admit, “I can’t handle this,” and ask Christ for His strength? What would that look like this week?

Additional Questions (Optional)

• Paul says he learned to be content both with a lot and with a little. Which is harder for you, and why?
• When you feel stuck, what do you tend to tell yourself? How does what Paul wrote push back on that?
• The Philippians made sure Paul knew he wasn’t forgotten. Who do you know who’s stuck right now, and how could your group remember them this week?

Exploring the Scripture

Main Scripture: Philippians 4:10–13 (CSB)

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Paul wrote Philippians while under arrest, most likely under house arrest in Rome around AD 60–62, as he waited for his case to be heard (Acts 28:30–31). Nero was emperor, and the trial's outcome was uncertain. Paul wrote to a church he helped start roughly a decade earlier in Philippi, a Roman colony in Macedonia, where a businesswoman named Lydia and a jailer and his family were among the first to believe (Acts 16:11–40).

The Philippians had supported Paul’s work before (Philippians 4:15–16). When news of his arrest finally reached them, they sent a gift with a man named Epaphroditus (Philippians 2:25; 4:18). The word Paul uses for their “renewed” care pictures a plant blooming again. These verses are his thank-you note, but he’s careful to say he isn’t writing out of desperation.

Two words in this passage carry great weight. The word translated “content” in verse 11 was a favorite of Stoic philosophers, who used it to describe someone so self-sufficient that nothing outside could disturb them. Paul borrows the word and gives it a new source. His sufficiency doesn’t come from himself; it comes from Christ (v. 13). In verse 12, “I have learned the secret” translates a word used for being initiated into something, the kind of word used for the mystery religions of Paul’s day. It appears only here in the New Testament. Paul’s point is that contentment isn’t a technique he mastered. It’s something Christ brought him into.

This passage fits the larger story Paul tells about his life and about Jesus. Elsewhere he describes beatings, shipwrecks, hunger and danger (2 Corinthians 11:23–28), and how Christ’s power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9–10). He describes the Christian life as Christ living in us (Galatians 2:20; Colossians 1:27). And earlier in this same letter, he points to Jesus, who gave up His rights and trusted the Father all the way to the cross (Philippians 2:5–8).

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Questions for deeper study:

1. Read Philippians 1:12–14. How does Paul describe his imprisonment there, and how does that shape the way you read 4:10–13?
2. Paul says he learned to be content (v. 11). Read 2 Corinthians 11:23–28. What do you think those experiences taught Paul about who God is?
3. Paul had to learn contentment with plenty as well as with little (v. 12). Read 1 Timothy 6:6–8. Why might having a lot make contentment just as hard as having little?
4. Read 2 Corinthians 12:9–10. How does Christ’s power being made perfect in weakness help explain Philippians 4:13?
5. Read Hebrews 13:5. What does it reveal about God’s character that contentment is tied to His promise never to leave us?
6. Read Philippians 2:5–8. What does Jesus’ own path show about trusting the Father when circumstances are hard?
7. Where are you most tempted to look for sufficiency in yourself rather than in Christ?

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Deeper Discussion Questions

1. Philippians 4:13 often gets used as a promise of success. What do we lose when we read it that way, and what do we gain when we read it in context?
2. Is contentment the same as giving up, or not caring whether anything changes? How is Paul’s contentment different from resignation? (Notice that he still welcomed the Philippians’ help in 4:14.)
3. Some people hear “be content” as “stop feeling hard things.” How does Paul’s honesty about hunger and need push back on that?
4. This week’s message said contentment isn’t something we discover by studying harder or trying harder. Why do we so often treat our relationship with God like a self-improvement project?
5. Our culture tells us we can be anything we want. Where has that message shaped what you expect from life, and from God?
6. What’s the difference between the self-sufficiency the Stoics prized and the sufficiency Paul found in Christ?
7. When you’re stuck, what would it look like to be honest with God about how hard it is while still trusting Him?

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Living It Out

• Your circumstances: Name the situation you would change today if you could. Each morning this week, bring it to God by name and ask Him for His strength for that day.
• What you have: Notice moments this week when you think, “I’ll be okay once I have ___.” When you catch it, thank God for one specific thing He has already given you.
• Your church and community: Like the Philippians, think of someone who’s stuck right now. Reach out this week with a text, a meal, or a visit so they know they haven’t been forgotten.
• Accountability: Tell one person in your group what has you stuck, and ask them to pray with you and check in before your next meeting.

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Prayer Focus

Most of us have something that has us stuck, and we’ve been trying to carry it on our own. Thank God that you don’t have to, because Christ lives in you. Ask Him for His strength in the circumstances you can’t change. Ask Him to show you this week what it looks like to be content in Him, right where you are.

Close by reading Philippians 4:11–13.

What do you do when there’s nothing you can do? This is what we’ve been talking about as a church. When there’s no way forward, when there’s no way out. And there are a lot of different areas in life and ways in which you can be stuck. We’ve talked about relationally, we’ve talked about being stuck financially, being stuck in your health. It’s not a death sentence or maybe it is. Maybe it’s chronic and it’s never going to get better and you don’t know what you’re going to do. Hey, maybe you’re stuck is loneliness. Maybe you’re stuck in this spot where you feel you’re just by yourself. And when we start feeling stuck, we’ve talked about this, we start telling ourselves things. We say things like, “I’ll never be happy again.” No good can come from this. There’s no point in continuing on and we start telling ourselves these lies. And it only makes our situation worse.

So what do you do when there’s nothing you can do? That’s what this whole series has been about. Hey, week one, we talked about how God is not absent, apathetic, or angry with you. Last week we talked about looking at adversity as if it’s a gift because it is a gift and that gift comes with a purpose and a promise. This week we’re going to talk about one word. You’re going to see it on the screen, contentment.

Now you either like this word or you don’t like this word. Because when we think about contentment, we think, “I need to be content with myself. I need to be content with my circumstances. How do I feel good about something that I can’t change?” Some of you look in the mirror and you feel like that. You say, “How do I feel good about something I can’t change?” I’m going to be honest with you, I feel that way. Like I was just out the other night, dinner with some friends and my wife and the waitress comes by. My wife just hums along to the song and she says, “Oh, you have such a beautiful voice.” My wife said, “Yeah, my dad used to force me and my siblings to sing together.” We all laughed about it. I said from the other side of the table, “Yes, I have one of the CDs.” The waitress said, “Oh, are you her dad?” I didn’t feel very content in that moment. I realized that my home and my family dynamic is a little bit different. My daughter looks older. My wife looks younger than me, but my wife doesn’t look that much younger than me. Somebody help me out here. Am I her dad?! In that moment, as a dude, played football, hunted, all kinds of outside sports, a little bit of grit in me, I was like, “Plastic surgery doesn’t seem like that bad of an idea right now.” God whispers in my ear, “But you’re going to preach about contentment on Sunday.” I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but this is different.” We all feel this to some degree or another. I’m like, “Am I the hero because she looks so young or do I just look that old?” In reality, that’s the world that we live in. Sometimes comments like that, they wreck us. They change everything.

But that’s not the kind of the contentment that we’re going to talk about today. But before we get too far, let me give you some definitions. When I say the word contentment, I’m talking about contentment is something on the inside that’s at peace, even when everything on the outside is going crazy. Contentment is the ability to stop striving internally, even though things on the outside are completely out of control. That’s what we’re going to talk about.

Because the Apostle Paul, he becomes a Christian, launches into this incredible ministry planting churches everywhere. And 10 years into this ministry, Paul’s arrested. I mean, after everything that we talked about last week where he has this sickness, this difficulty, this thorn in the flesh, the Bible says that was debilitating, humiliating, permanent. After that, he’s arrested, taken to Rome, put under house arrest. And the emperor at the time is Nero. And so being a Christian under house arrest in Rome with Nero as the emperor is not a good combination. But from that house, Paul wrote what we now call the Pauline epistles. Ephesians, Colossians, Philippians, Philemon. Paul had no idea what the result of his faithfulness would be, that those letters would outlast the Roman empire, would last 2,000 years later because of his faithfulness.

And I want this to sink in for us. This is not part of the message, but I want this to sink in. What will the result be of our faithfulness? This generation. So we have this way of living for ourselves and we’ve got our sports things and we’ve got the kids’ programs and we’ve got our house and we’ve got our career and the vacation that we’ve got planned. We’ve got all of our stuff planned. But listen to me. What will the result be of your faithfulness, of my faithfulness in this generation? We can see the result of how God used the apostle Paul. Maybe our response ought to be God, whatever you’ve chosen to put in my life. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. But if that’s what you want, Lord, here I am, teach me what it means to be content in the middle of my circumstances.

And that’s exactly the issue that Paul addresses in one of the letters, the one he wrote to the church of Philippi. Here’s what he says to Christians in Philippi, Philippians 4, verse number 10. “I rejoiced in the Lord greatly because once again you renewed your care for me. You were in fact concerned about me but lacked the opportunity to show it.” And you might say, “Well, why does Paul say this word renewed? I mean, what happened? Did they not care?” And then all of a sudden they started caring again. Remember, Paul’s under house arrest and news travels slowly and it finally reaches the Christians in Philippi even though he’s in Rome. So they send him a care package. But it takes a long time for that care package to get there. And so finally when it does get there, Paul’s reaction says it all. “Hey, they didn’t forget about me. They remembered me in my difficulty. They remembered me in my chains.” But then he uses that moment to launch into this big, complicated word contentment.

Look at verse number 11. “I don’t say this out of need, for I’ve learned to be content in whatever circumstances I find myself.” He’s saying, “I’m not saying this because I’m in need.” In other words, listen, I’m glad you sent a care package. I’m glad that you remembered me. I’m glad that you didn’t forget about me, but don’t misunderstand the point that I’m trying to make. “I’m not glad,” he’s saying, “because I was afraid. I’m not glad because on the inside I was going crazy. I’m not glad because on the inside I was overwhelmed with anxiety, wondering how I was going to make it in life.” No, he’s not saying any of that. He’s saying, “I’m not saying this because I’m in need, for I have learned.” This is what you see in Scripture. “I’ve learned.” It’s something he learned over time. It took a while. It didn’t come naturally to him. He’s saying, “I’ve learned to be content in whatever circumstance.” The idea of contentment means to be internally self-sufficient. He’s saying, “I’ve learned to deal with it. I’ve learned to not let it drag me down that contentment is learning to live in such a state that even though things around me are unsure, even though things around me are unstable, I’m not going to stress out. I’m not striving. I’m not yearning. I’m not running. I’m not panicked. I’m going to be content.”

Now, this is an amazing statement. He says, “In whatever circumstances that I’m in.” And when I read that, when I read that, I say, “I want to learn that.” That Paul could be in any circumstance, regardless of what it was, and somehow he learned how to be content regardless of what the circumstance is. I want to learn that. Because we all have our limits. We all have that place that we don’t want to go because we know we can’t handle it. I don’t want to go in the reptile section of the zoo. I don’t like snakes. They apparently don’t like me either. Some snakes run from people. They all seem to chase me. I do the smart thing and I run. I’m not really a big fan of heights unless I’m climbing. I don’t want to get stuck where it’s high. I just don’t like that.

We can laugh at points like that, but hey, let’s for a minute be honest with ourselves. There are things in life that you don’t want to deal with because you don’t want to try and be content at that place. It might be your health. It might be with your family. It might be with your kids. It might be things about the future that there are just moments in time, places. There are certain limits to your desire as to how far you want to be stretched. And Paul says in every circumstance, “I’ve learned the secret.” Look at that and I go, “I want to learn what that is.” That if there’s a way to be okay on the inside when things on the outside are not okay, I want to get that. Sadly, we look for our circumstances to make us content. We look for our circumstances to change in such a way that our heart becomes content because our circumstances have come to where we want them to be. They’ve changed to our will. Listen to me. There’s a category and Paul is talking about it. There’s a category of contentment that works in every circumstance when you’re stuck, when there’s no way forward, when there’s no way out, when it just is what it is and it’s going to stay that way. There’s a way to be content. Paul says, “In spite of my personality, in spite of my circumstances, I’ve learned the secret. I’ve learned how to be content.”

Look at the next verse, verse number 12. “I know how to make do with little and I know how to make do with a lot. In any and all circumstances, I’ve learned the secret of being content whether well-fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need.” Paul says, “I’ve had more than I needed and I didn’t get addicted to having more than I needed and I’ve not had enough and it didn’t make me unhappy.” He said, “I’ve learned how to navigate having a lot and I’ve learned how to navigate not having enough and neither one wrecked me and on the other side I learned that I don’t need either circumstance. I have contentment.” Now here’s something worth knowing. This is super cool. In verse 11 when Paul says, “I’ve learned,” that’s the ordinary word for learning something over time. But then in verse number 12, the verse that you’re seeing, when he says, “I’ve learned the secret. Paul is using the language of the pagan Greek society.” And it’s fascinating when you understand who Paul is writing to. I actually stood in the ruins of ancient Philippi actually, a couple of different times. Throughout ancient Greek areas and Roman world, the temples and the different places for the religious groups, they were devoted to different pagan gods and some of these groups practice what were called mystery religions. And here’s how they worked. You just didn’t walk in and learn everything there was to know. You had to be initiated in. You had to be brought in to that group before you were even given certain access to teachings and practices. And Paul uses that phrase here and uses that very word to describe what kind of initiation. It’s literally carried into the idea and initiated into something of being let in on the secrets. And when Paul says, “I’ve learned the secret of being content,” he’s actually using the language of the readers and that they would recognize.

Now, before we break into what that secret is, I want you to understand what Paul endured while being content. He’s arrested multiple times. Paul kept on getting beaten. In fact, I think there’s far more beatings that he endured than we ever see in Scripture, but he talks about it one time and he goes, “Hey, on five different occasions, I was beaten 39 times. One time in particular, Paul was stoned and left for dead and the people thought he was dead, grabbed him and dragged his body outside of the city and left him there for dead. Shipwrecked three different times, bitten by a poisonous snake, thrown out of cities, climbing over walls to escape. There was so much that Paul went through and that was all on a good day. On a bad day, he’s sitting in Rome under house arrest waiting until Nero wants to bring his case before him.” He said, “Paul, how in the world can you be content with all of that and what was it that you learned that allows you to be content?”

And the next verse tells us, and it’s one of the most famous verses in the entire New Testament and it’s also one of the most misapplied verses in the Bible. Verse number 13, “I am able to do all things through him who strengthens me.” Now people have yanked this verse way out of context and applied it to all kinds of things. They put it on the wall of a weight room and they said, “I can finish the workout and I can lose the weight. I can hit the goal because it’s Christ who strengthens me.” No, maybe we just need to get on the treadmill and put down the jelly donuts. That’s not what the verse means. Athletes put it on a wristband right before the championship game and they go out to go win the game and they’re like, “I can make the shot. I can make the goal. I can beat the other team because it’s Christ who strengthens us.” They claim it when we’re chasing some big dream, some career goal. We say to ourselves, “I can get the promotion. I can build the business. I can make the money. I can accomplish whatever I set my mind to.” Listen to me. No, that’s not what the verse means. And sometimes we tell our kids when they’re facing something difficult, “Hey, you can do anything you put your mind to. Hey, you can be anything that you want to be. Remember, you can do all things through Christ.” But that’s not what Paul’s saying.

The context here is Paul’s summary of how you live with contentment in the middle of circumstances that are chaotic, in the middle of circumstances that are out of control, in the middle of circumstances that aren’t going your way. And in his case, circumstances that are actually life-threatening.

The context of the verse reads like this, “I can maintain my contentment through Christ who gives me strength.” Did you catch that? “I can maintain my contentment through Christ who gives me strength.” And this is where we struggle because we try and get our finances in a place that allows us to feel content. And I see people do this, “If I can just get my finances in the spot, then I’ll be okay.” And I see people try and fix it themselves and they make a mess. I see people with their health and they try and navigate that on their own. And they’re trying to navigate their health and find a solution, get the diagnosis, understand what’s going on so that their heart can be set at ease, so that they can feel better, so that they’re not panicked. And if they just understand what’s going on and what the solution is going to be, then they can be content. I’ve seen this with people when their kids are just going off the rails and they just want their kids to do right. I’ve seen this with people and their inability to have kids. And they go, “Well, if I can just have this thing that I want, I’ll be content.” I’ve seen single people do this with their love life and they try and force something because they just want something that they think that they need that will make them content. Listen to me and you might be saying, “Anthony, you’ve talked about one of those things and you’re describing me and you’re describing my life right now, but you don’t understand. I just can’t be content. I’ve tried and I’ve tried and I just can’t get there. You’re right. You can’t be content.” It’s Jesus who makes us content. Paul elaborates elsewhere what becomes the New Testament. He talks about how the strength of Christ and the endurance of Christ that’s available to you and me in Christ. And he says, “I can do all things through him, through Christ, who gives me strength.” Now listen to me, when we take this verse out of context, we miss the secret of contentment entirely because when we take this verse out of context, we put the emphasis on ourselves and not on Christ. It’s not you deciding what you want Jesus to do and then he gives you the strength to do it. No, it’s you submitting to what Jesus has for you and he gives you the contentment to walk through it and to endure it.

And we miss what it actually means to be fine on the inside even though your world around you is out of control. Listen to me, you can survive all things, that you can thrive under all circumstances, that you can maintain composure, not because you’re strong, not because you’re spiritual, not because you have the strength, but because God gives you the strength and he gives you contentment as you walk in his spirit. You say, “Well, how does this apply?” I mean, how do I walk out of here and do this today? Hey, realize that you can’t. You can’t be content. I can’t be content. I’m always going to attach my hopes, my dreams, my wishes on something that I think will make my heart happy. It’s who I am on the inside. It’s who you are on the inside. Listen to me. When you realize that you can’t, there is power in that statement.

I can’t do this. I can’t be content. I don’t have the strength. I don’t have the ability. And some of you, listen to me, your problem is that you think you can. You think you can try harder. You think you can control. You think you can trust your own wisdom, your own planning, your own ability, that you can handle this, that whatever it is in your life that has you stuck, that if you just get things your way and God works according to your roadmap, that somehow it’ll all work out. Listen, just admit it. You can’t handle it. And when we admit that we can’t handle it, we see that He can. That His power is perfected in our weakness. It’s made perfect.

So we live life trying to carry the weight of everything. And we get to a breaking point and say, “God, I can’t keep doing this.” And your heavenly Father says, “You’re right. You can’t. You can’t, but I can.” And Paul says it plainly elsewhere, “I’ve been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” Listen, that’s not poetry. That’s the whole engine behind the truth that we’re describing today.

So admit that you can’t. And when you admit that you can’t, you begin to realize, here’s the second part, He can. He can through me. So many times we think that we can handle it and Jesus takes over when we can’t handle it anymore. No, that’s not how it goes. We can never handle it. God wants to do what He does through you and He wants you to let go of all of your will. To realize you can’t handle it. Not on your best day. We always need Jesus every step of the way. Your heavenly Father says, “You can’t and it’s okay that you can’t, but I can and I can through you.” Listen, that’s the mystery of Christ in you. He wants to do this work in you that feels unnatural. That He wants to do this work in you that just feels opposite of how you actually feel. And that’s what Jesus wants to do and it’s a mystery to be solved. It’s a secret that we discover and we don’t discover it by studying harder and trying harder. It’s something that we learn when we’re in relationship with Jesus. That as we come to know Him, as we draw near to Him, as we walk with Him, we begin to discover what Paul discovered.

But the secret of contentment isn’t getting our circumstances changed. The secret of contentment is knowing the one who’s in control of all of our circumstances. That’s how you have contentment when you’re stuck. Listen, I don’t care what problem you walked in with today. I don’t care how heavy your heart is today. I don’t care what’s going on in your world and in your life. You can have contentment when you’re stuck and it’s not because you finally figured out how to handle it. It’s not because you became strong enough. It’s because you know Him and that He’s enough.

Maybe you don’t fully understand that and Paul would say, “Listen, I kind of get it. I might not fully understand it, but it’s a mystery and it’s a mystery that creates a reality that through God you can have contentment in every set of circumstances.” That you can be content. Don’t buy into the thing that says, “I’ve just got to try harder and if I read the Bible more and if I pray more and if I get God to give me this thing that I really want, then my heart will be settled. That I’ll be okay. That everything will be all right.” Listen, that’s not how God works. He doesn’t change your circumstances to align your heart with Him. He aligns your heart with Him in spite of your circumstances.

So realize the secret of contentment is not you getting what you want. It’s not you getting the thing that you think you need. It’s you saying, “Lord, this is what you brought into my life. I want to learn. I want to learn the secret of being content and the secret, it’s Him and it’s in Him.

Heavenly Father, You’re so good. Lord, thank You for Your Word. God, thank You for who You are. Lord, thank You that my hope in this world and my hope in how You work in my life is not that my circumstances align to my will, it’s that You’re in control of all of those circumstances. And so Father, would You work in our hearts? This idea of contentment just doesn’t get put in a category of finances. That it’s not just put into a category of trying to be at the right place and do the right thing, but that, God, contentment is all about You. Pray this in Jesus’ name, Amen.