“Don’t judge me.”
You’ve probably heard it before—maybe from a friend defending a questionable decision, on social media, or even as a dismissive response to genuine concern. It’s become the universal shield against accountability, often paired with a reference to Jesus’ words: “Do not judge.”
But is that really what Jesus meant? Are we never supposed to address sin in other believers’ lives? Or have we been misinterpreting one of the most quoted verses in the Bible?
The Verse Everyone Knows (But Few Understand)
Matthew 7:1 might be the most widely quoted and misused verse in the entire Bible. Unbelievers who have never spent a day in church know this verse. They might not know John 3:16 or that Jesus is the Son of God, but they know “Do not judge.”
Many use it to say, “You should never call out sin in anyone’s life. You should never make any kind of moral judgment. You should just let everyone live however they want.”
But let me say this clearly: That is bad theology.
This is why it’s dangerous to only read and know three words of a verse. Let’s look at what Jesus actually said:
“Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.” — Matthew 7:1-2
What Jesus Really Meant
If we look at the context, it becomes clear that Jesus’ command “Do not judge” is not a blanket statement against all forms of judgment. Instead, Jesus is warning His disciples not to judge like the Pharisees.
The Pharisees condemned and criticized people not out of love, but out of pride. They wanted to exalt themselves by putting others down. They made themselves look more spiritual by pointing out everyone else’s flaws.
Jesus gives us a perfect example in Luke 18:11–12: The Pharisee prays, “Thank You, God, that I’m not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.”
Do you see the attitude? Pride. Condemnation. Arrogance.
This still happens today—even in our church. When we gain some Bible knowledge, we sometimes weaponize it to look down on others. When we think we’ve grown in self-discipline, we can become prideful and critical toward people who are struggling. When we think others should mature faster, we look down on them instead of walking with them.
The Log and the Speck
Jesus continues with a powerful illustration:
“Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ’Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” — Matthew 7:3-5
Notice that Jesus doesn’t say, “Never help your brother with the speck in his eye.” He says, “First deal with your own sin, THEN you can help your brother.”
This means there is a right way to judge—a humble, loving, Spirit-filled way.
How to Judge Correctly
1. Judge yourself first
Before you ever speak into someone else’s sin, ask: “Am I dealing with the sin in my own heart?”
The most dangerous thing you can do is walk around with a log in your own eye while pointing out specks in others. God’s Word tells us to examine ourselves first. When we’re honest about our own struggles, we approach others with humility instead of superiority.
2. Judge with humility and gentleness
If God calls you to confront a brother or sister, don’t come with arrogance or pride. Come with tears. Come walking in the Spirit. Come with Scripture. Come with a desire to see them restored, not destroyed.
Have the goal of being humble, not the desire to humiliate. Galatians 6:1 reminds us to “restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness.” If our goal is to prove we’re right, we’re already wrong. Our goal is to help restore.
3. Judge believers, not unbelievers
We’re not called to police the world—we’re called to reach the world.
We are called to lovingly hold one another accountable within the family of God. But when it comes to those outside the church, God will handle that judgment. Our job is to share the good news of Jesus with them, not condemn their behavior.
Imagine if we took the energy we use to judge the world and instead used it to reach the world with the message of Jesus. What would happen then?
4. Welcome accountability in your own life
Don’t just be quick to point out others’ sin—invite others to speak into your life. Ask a trusted brother or sister to help you see your blind spots.
You know what really helps people speak into your life? You walking over to somebody and saying, “Hey, I might need you to speak into my life.”
If you’re married, are you humble enough to let your spouse speak to your sin? Students, the best accountability partner you may have in your life is a parent. Parents, your kids see you in the comfort of your own home—they know things no one else knows. Do you let them speak into your life?
The Heart Behind Judgment
We don’t confront sin to condemn—we confront sin because we believe Jesus restores.
Sometimes we avoid addressing sin because we want a pass for our own sin. But what we ought to do is confront sin because we want Jesus to restore us.
So is it wrong to judge? Yes—when it’s hypocritical, prideful, or condemning. But no—when it’s humble, loving, and rooted in God’s Word.
Because in God’s design, we are called to help one another see clearly, to keep each other accountable, and to live as a holy people who reflect the grace and truth of Jesus Christ.
Reflection
Think about your own approach to addressing sin: Are you more focused on pointing out others’ failures or addressing your own? How might your relationships change if you practiced biblical judgment—starting with yourself, proceeding with humility, focusing only on fellow believers, and welcoming accountability in your own life?
